This week was a fabulous learning week because I
learned something so fascinating about microaggressions and how prominent they
are in my everyday life. I recently moved to a new neighborhood in February
after the birth of my second child. After being raised in the city for most of
my life, and even starting my family in a less than safe neighborhood I always
wanted to move to the suburbs in a single family home community like you always see on
TV. Being the pisces that I am (the big dreamer) I would drive through
newly built communities and just think of what it would be like if I could just
live there. Well my dream finally has come true and my husband and I decided to
go for the gusto and get the house that I always wanted. We moved to a
beautiful community with tot lots, a beautiful community center, walking
trails, and an over sized community pool all within our development. My son is
starting kindergarten in September so I am always walking through the community
and taking him to the playgrounds as well as the pool to get acquainted with
the neighbors and get him meeting some friends. Well the other day my husband
and I took the boys to the pool. We meant some great neighbors and had a few
interesting conversations. (I will be honest there are only a few black
families within this community and we are one of them so I guess our presence
sometimes can be surprising to the neighbors.) One of the ladies in the pool asked
us how long we lived there and were we moved from. She wanted to know where we worked.
How long have we been at our jobs? How did we hear about the community? And
even asked us if we ever think about moving back to the city. I answered her
questions and I really do not think she meant any harm by her micro insults,
she did not even realize her questions were slightly offensive, but she was
really curious to know how can we afford this living. I also talked to a family
that asked so many questions about the city and wanted to know what it is like
to live near so much action in the inner city. I participated in the small talk
and did not take offense to the many comments or assumptions that my husband
and I cannot afford the community and it almost seems as if some of those
neighbors may be expecting us to move out sooner than later.
I sometimes get stares and evil looks and even some
people just don’t speak. I feel saddened by some of the reactions and even worry
about my son in school but if I had it to do all over I would not change one
single thing because I want my children to grow up in a safe environment and
will face micro aggressions all day if I have to, to give them a better life
than I had growing up. I think racism is so ridiculous because people should
just accept people for who they are and not what they are. We all come from
different cultures and backgrounds but we should appreciate our differences and
desire to learn from them rather than hate and resent them.
Kereba,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry your neighbors are treating you so badly. I noticed that one of the few African American families in our small town was often treated this way because they lived in an affluent neighborhood and many people were rude and were not open to changing our community to welcome a more diverse population. I agree that racism is ridiculous and people should accept others for who they are and enrich their lives by getting to know someone culturally or racially different. I know that it truly opens your eyes to the many different perspectives and ways of doing things, sometimes even showing you a way that works better than your own. I hope your neighbors change their behavior soon.